Friday, March 6, 2009

DOESNT CHUCK E. CHEESE SERVE BOOZE?





GOOD LORD. THROAT SLAMMING PEOPLE INTO VIDEO GAMES? ABSURD. AND HOW THE HELL DO 40 PEOPLE GET INTO IT WITH ONE PERSON SHOWING UP THAT SHOULDNT HAVE?! I WOULD LOVE TO READ THE REPORT ON THAT ONE.

IF YOU WANT TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE ITS... http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122878081364889613.html ... BUT IF YOU WANT IT ALL SUMMED UP IN ONE JIFF ITS LIKE THIS...


Lamborghini Reventon - $1.4Mil Street Stealth Bomber For the Fellas...

"Lamborghini has outdone itself with its latest creation, the $1.4 million Reventon sports car. The Italian automaker unveiled the supercar to much acclaim at the Frankfurt Motor Show back in September. Aside from the Reventon's stealthy design, the car also sports a V12 engine, which pumps out 650 hp and is capable of tapping out at 211 mph.

Lamborghini will limit production of the Reventon to 20 unit (all of which have already been purchased) so consider yourself lucky if you see this monster fly by you on the interstate.

The lucky editors over at Popular Science were kind enough to film their test drive of the Italian beast—just listen to the growl of that engine."


ILL TAKE TWO OF EACH...



"This shower boasts two hand-held nozzles, mirrors, 8 side jets, a radio, an LCD TV, MP3 input, 6mm of tempered glass, a heater pump, steam generator, an alarm, 6 more jets, overhead lights, back acupuncture massage, a massage tub, towel racks, foot massage, ventilation fans and speakers."

DEFINITION OF..."BEING IN ONES POCKET"

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU SAW IT ALL...

INVENT YOUR DESTINY.....I DID





I FELT LIKE I WENT THROUGH SO MANY DIFFERENT EMOTIONS FROM START TO FINISH IN THIS CLIP...

FIRST, I THOUGHT THIS GUY WAS GONNA BE SOME BADBOY SELLING SOMETHING HE MADE THAT MAKES TOUGH GUYS, THEN I HEARD THE FIRST 4 WORDS COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH AND WENT INTO AN OUTBURST. THEN I WENT TO A STRAIGHT STONE COLD FACE, BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE MY BUDDY MIKE, BECAUSE I COULD SEE MIKE TELLING PEOPLE THAT HE CREATES REAL LIFE PIGEONS LIKE CHRIST HIMSELF, AND THEN PLANTS DATA CHIPS IN THE WEBS OF THEIR FEET TO MAKE THEM DO P.I. WORK FOR THE CIA.

ANOTHER HAPPY FRIDAY SHOUT OUT FROM KATIE K'S FOLKS

THIS LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE MY GOOD FRIEND KATIE'S MOM AND DAD ABOUT 25 YEARS AGO, BUT THE JURY IS STILL OUT. MR K. HAS A PRETTY WELL GROOMED STEESH, AND THIS GUY JUST HAS A GLUE-ON. ILL HAVE TO ASK THEM WHEN I SEE THEM NEXT. WHICH WILL BE NEXT SUNDAY AT KK'S. THIS WILL BE BEFORE KATIES' MOM YELLS AT SHREDDER, TOOTHPICK MAN AND MYSELF TO DEVOUR MORE SODA BREAD, PASTRIES AND ALCOHOL @ 7AM SHE NEVER NEEDS TO TWIST THIS ARM, NONE THE LESS ANYONE ELSE'S.

ALSO...HAPPY FRIDAY FROM FAITH AND DOMINICK



FOR THE FELLAS - HAPPY FRIDAY FROM THE EVAS





AND FOR THE LADIES - HAPPY FRIDAY FROM YOUR STALLIONS...



Thursday, March 5, 2009

PRINCESS JULIANA INT'L AIRPORT - ST. MARTINS

THE BACKGROUND MUSIC FOR THE FIRST VIDEO IS PRETTY MCDUFFYS, STUS, GREEN DOLPHIN...YOU GET MY DRIFT. SO IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO UNBUCKLE YOURSELF, JUMP OUT OF YOUR CHAIR AND CRASH THE FLOOR WITH YOUR FINEST MOVES, DONT HOLD BACK. I SURE AS HELL COULDNT.







FF TO THE 1:45 MARK...


"LATER HE GETS THE REBOUND!!!...PASSES IT TO THE MAN!!!...AND BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!!!"

HERES BRIAN COLLINS DEBUT IN BROADCASTING. YA GOTTA START SOMEWHERE SOMETIME.

IVE SEEN THIS VIDEO BEFORE, BUT I STILL LAUGH, CRINGE AND SHAKE MY HEAD ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SHE IS DEFINATELY GONNA OWN THIS LIL' MA N' PA STORE.










DONT DRINK AND HANG OUT WITH NO NOSE AND COMPANY.

I DONT BLAME THIS CHICK FOR BEING ABSOLUTELY TERRRRRRIFIED. TWO GUYS WHO DONT LOOK LIKE PLEASANT PEOPLE AND ANOTHER WITH NO NOSE AND A MOUTH WITH THE DIAMETER EQUIVALENT TO A QUARTER? YOU BET I WOULD BE DROPPING DOOKIE IN MY DRAWERS. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOU SEE IN A STEPHEN KING MOVIE. I MEAN THE CLOWN IN "IT" WITH 3 ROWS OF TEETH LIKE MY BUDDY MIKE'S IS ONE THING, BUT A MAN WITH CHRISTOPHER WALKEN'S EYES AND TWO SMALL HOLES IN HIS MUG AS A BEAK AND YAMMER? THATS ANOTHER. THIS GIRL IS STILL SHAKING AS SHE TALKS TO REPORTERS.

MEATHEAD OF THE DAY

"SO YOU WANT AN APPLE PIE AND A SLIM JIM? OK. DONT TOUCH THE HANDLEBARS, ILL BE RIGHT BACK"......



GREAT PARENTING. IM SURE ONCE THAT LEAKED HIS WIFE JUST ABOUT BEAT HIM HALFWAY TO CHINA. I LOVE HOW THE LADY WALKING OUT OF THE GAS STATION MOVES OUT OF THE WAY SO THE LITTLE GIRL CAN GET AROUND HER.

PRANK WARS

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DONT KNOW WHAT PRANK WARS IS, NOWS THE TIME TO CATCH UP. THESE TWO UTES HAVE BEEN GOIN' AT IT FOR YEARS. IT STARTED OFF PRETTY EASY, BUT THEY'VE BEEN ONE UP'N EACH OTHER TO THE POINT WHERE SOMEONE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT ALIVE TIL' PRANK WARS 10(LATEST IS 7).


PRANK WARS 1



PRANK WARS 6



PRANK WARS 7

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

APOLOGY EXCEPTED ICE. IM SORRY FOR MAKING FUN OF THE ZUBAZ AND ZIGZAGS, BUT HEY, YO...V.I.P, LETS FORGET ABOUT IT!!! AND LETS KICK IT!!!!...

...YO STOP, COLLABORATE & LISTEN...

THANKS ROB, FOR COMING COMING OUT OF DENIAL AND COMING TO...


FOR ALL OF YOU WHO DONT KNOW DAVID PATERSON, HES THE GOVERNOR OF NY AND HES BLIND. HE EITHER HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR AND AN IDIOT OF AN ASSISTANT, OR A COMEDIAN AS AN ASSISTANT AND HES COMPLETELY UNAWARE THAT HIS LEGS LOOK LIKE TREE STICKS. WHOEVER TOLD RON RUTH (R.I.P. RON) THAT WEARING TIGHT 10-SPEED SHORTS WAS HIP, WAS NOT HIP THEMSELVES. UNLESS YOUR THIS GUY I WORK WITH THAT HAS WEARS THOSE, BUT ITS OK BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF, AND HE HAS ONE OF THE FINEST HANDLEBAR STEESHES I HAVE EVER SEEN. I WAS SHOCKED THAT THIS IS THE ONLY PICTURE I COULD CATCH OF RON IN HIS SCHWINN SHORTS. CAN ANYONE ELSE FIND ANYTHING BETTER?




DO THE BOSACKS HAVE ONE YET?

ONE WORD: CLEANERS


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DONT LIE, YOU KNOW YOU WERE THINKING THE SAME THING.

IM SHOCKED I HAVENT SEEN THE J-MAN OUT ON THIS ONE. AS SOON AS I READ THE TITLE AND THEN SAW THE OFFICERS I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE ON THIS LIKE A BUM ON A HAM SANDWICH. IM SURE HE HAS OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT, LIKE HIMSELF AND JR'S CLOUT ANTICS. I HAVENT HEARD JR'S NAME LATELY EITHER. IM SURE THEY ARE SITTING BACK WAITING TO SEE HOW LONG JR'S SENTENCE IS GONNA BE WHEN HOTROD DECIDES TO SQUEAL LIKE A PIG. BUT ON A LIGHTER NOTE...

MALIKA,

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO OWN A POLICE DEPARTMENT? IM SURE ONCE YOU FELT THAT HAND HIT YOUR HAIR AND YOUR HEAD HIT THE CEMENT BLOCKS, YOU KNEW THAT YOU WERE PENCILED FOR LIFE. THIS FAMILY IS GOING TO TAKE THAT DEPARTMENT TO THE DRY CLEANERS, THEIRS NO ABOUT THAT. DID YOU SEE WHAT I SAW? THE GREEN IN HER EYES THROUGH THE BLACK & WHITE SCREEN? I WILL SAY, THE FATHER WAS PLAYING IT OFF PRETTY COOL, BUT IM SURE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS HE IS JUST MAKING LISTS OF THINGS HE WANTS AND WILL GET. THIS GUY KNOWS HES DONE WORKING, THEIRS NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT. IM SURE MOM COULDNT MAKE IT BECAUSE SHE WAS ALREADY OUT BUYING LAVISH ABODES AND TIGHTS WHIPS. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE ON THIS ONE.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Hey Ma!!!...Whats for dinner?!?!?




I dont even know where to begin with this. The whole story is bonkers from start to finish. The kids sit around on their downtime and draw pictures with mommy of mommy's "teet"? C'mon now. The kids dont like their mother wearing a bra because it smothers her "teet"? Im curious to know how this all works on a day to day basis. Does mom come to school with milkshakes for lunch each day? Do the kids get fed before, after or during sporting events? If they're on a road trip, does she just cock her seat back and let the kittens get to work? I thought that living in the same town as the Wisznewskis was a treat. I was dead wrong. This one takes the cake by far.

THAT?...THATS A .357 SIR

How do you conduct the rest of your search? Shouldn't you just laugh and say lets go get some Harolds for lunch, its on me?



This kid must have a coffee can, because the kid doesn't even flinch. He just goes on with the search like this happens religiously. I couldn't even picture being the officer. How do you not laugh?

Monday, March 2, 2009

STRINGBEAN JOHNSON

I found this tape lying next to the garbage can a few houses down days ago while walking my dog. I popped it in and took a gander. Low n' behold, what do I see? My old neighbor Jimmy Morgan (aka Stringbean Johnson) cuttin' a rug to some High School High Musical Videos. My favorite part of Jim's choreograph is when he throws out the univeral "pull the airhorn" sign for semitruck drivers. It makes this video look a little big tougher. All you need now Jim is a tattoo of a unicorn on your forearm and you'll be halfway terrifying. I was waiting for Mr. Morgan to come storming in wearing a rambo headband and an Automatic Nerfgun, but beggars can't be choosers.



ANOTHER DAY IN CHICAGO...

THE WINDY CITY TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART



60° F: Arizonians shiver uncontrollably; people in Chicago are still sunbathing.

50° F: Californians try to turn on the heat; people in Chicago plant gardens.

40° F: Italian sports cars won't start; people in Chicago drive with the windows down.

32° F: Distilled water freezes; Lake Michigan water gets thicker.

20° F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats; people in Chicago throw on a light jacket.

15° F: People in Chicago have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0° F: All the people in Phoenix die. Chicagoans close the windows.

10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door to door.

25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates; people in Chicago get out their winter coats.

40° below zero: Washington , DC runs out of hot air; people in Chicago let the dogs sleep indoors.

100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated because they can't start 'DA car.'

460° below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale); people in Chicago start saying, 'cold 'nuff for ya?'

500° below zero: Hell freezes over. The Cubs win the World Series.

ITS CALLED "THE BOOTY CALL"

For those of you live in Chicago. You know what the Bud Billiken Parade is. Well we're halfway to yet another fantastic event hosted by Chicago. If you do or do not know what the BB Parade is, check it out anyways...

MATCHUP MONDAY

Comcast Hosts "Dating on Demand". Some of you are more familiar of it than others, and you know who you are. These Barnum & Bailey employees are just lookin for some romance outside the tents. Can ya blame em? If you have a video of someone you think might be interested in coming on site for MATCHUP MONDAY please drop it in the comment box.

Here we have my roommate Matt (KLINT is just his OnDemand Name). For those of you that know me, know Matt\Klint.

Matt, by the way, what does one do as a International Man of Leisure?


Sunday, March 1, 2009

COME ON EDDY, YOU PROMISED YOU'D GET ME SOME...

Meatloaf with a B.U.M. Equipment sweater and a small coke looking vial...annnnnd gooo...





This is legendary. Nothing better than seeing that Christmas Tree look in someones eyes when you put them around the sugar. This guy obviously works at Gamestop and hangs out at nearby hotel pools, of course this chick is gonna wheel him into getting her some smack. We all know what he wants, but hes gonna get short changed with 1st base. Sorry Charlie, you gotta be the manager to be getting serious action. So how long do you think this lasted until the DEA jumped in on this scheme? "Only the wallet knows for sure?" What about your nose, brain, body? How about those important parts pal? So basically, its boogersugar? You can get it at bookstores? Wowow...this guy was payin off some heavyhitters. I'm gonna say that once this video hit the networks, this guy was rounded up shortly after.